Remembering That First Regret

Show me someone that has no regrets and I'll show you a liar, or a person that has learned nothing in life.

I've had several regrets over the years. If it wasn't over something I said, didn't say, did or didn't do, then it was a choice made or ignored that ended up with feelings damaged or opportunities lost.

I was ten years old when I made a choice that has bothered me ever since. That's a little young to make a mistake that I still remember, but I did, and I do.

There was a boy who lived next door to me whose family was moving to Texas. This boy and I were friends, but somewhere within that friendship we had a disagreement that led the two of us to stop speaking to each other.

On the day he left town he was standing in his yard and I was in mine. We hadn't spoken to each other in over a week. I wanted to talk to him and I sensed that he wanted to talk to me, but neither one of us was man enough to make the first move.

I was on my swing set, while he just stared at me from across the fence. I remember thinking that this silent treatment was stupid and yet I did nothing about it.

It was lunch time and I remember going inside my house for a sandwich and when I came back outside, this boy and his family had left Illinois for good.

I felt bad that we didn't talk, especially when I knew that we both wanted too. Now forty-two years later, I still feel bad. I have asked myself "Why?" over the years, but there is no answer when stuborn pride is involved.

This wasn't the biggest regret of my life, but it's my oldest.

So Robert Blackerbee, should you by any chance ever stumble upon this blog, please know that never saying goodbye to you has haunted me to this day. I don't remember what came between us, but I am sincerly sorry. Hope your life is good. - Mike