Welcome to the third installment of The Mike Show. This is where you can read actual scenes from my past. I only include the strange ones, so sit back and enjoy.
Today's episode takes place in 1981. I was living in New York City. I had nothing to do this particular evening, so I went to visit my friend Gus the bartender at the bar where he worked. I was sitting at the bar and I noticed this woman alone in the booth behind me.
I was getting ready to leave for the night, when this woman bought me a drink. I went over to thank her and ended up sharing several more drinks with her. It was getting late and she asked if I could walk her home. I did.
We got to her apartment and she asked if I wanted to come up. I did. We got in the elevator and went to her room on the 11th floor. This is what happened in the room.
(Mike puts his arms around the woman and kisses her. She kisses him back. They kiss some more. Then all of a sudden...)
WOMAN: Get out!
MIKE: What?
WOMAN: You heard me. Get out!
MIKE: What's wrong?
WOMAN: Get out!
MIKE: What'd I do?
WOMAN: If you don't leave I'll start screaming!
MIKE: What?
WOMAN: I'm serious!
MIKE: What?
WOMAN: I'll scream!
MIKE: Why?
(The woman starts screaming at the top of her lungs)
MIKE: Okay, okay. I'm leaving.
(Mike leaves her apartment and waits for the elevator. All of a sudden the woman opens her door)
WOMAN: Sunday night. Eight o'clock.
(The woman slams the door. Mike doesn't wait for the elevator. He takes the stairs and runs home)
True story and the dialog is as close to word for word as I can remember. I never saw her again. I don't know what would have happened that Sunday night at eight o'clock, but my guess is that I would either be dead or on Candid Camera.
Welcome to the freak show of my past. Stay tuned to this blog for more episodes of The Mike Show.
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