I used to work with a guy that had so many off-the-wall excuses for being late or not coming to work, that they just had to be true. Here are the few that I can remember. I am NOT making these up.
1. I was late because I dropped my contact in the cat litter.
2. I was late because I couldn't hear the alarm because my daughter was throwing up.
3. I was late because it was my sons turn to set the alarm for the whole family and he forgot.
4. I won't be in today because last night I was chasing my kids and I ran into a tree branch.
5. I can't come to work today because the whole family has parasites.
6. I have to go home because my daughter has rocks stuck up her nose.
7. I won't be at work this week. I'm still in Texas. I was trying to take a short cut down this dirt road and I wrecked my car into a pack of wild pigs.
Showing posts with label Lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lists. Show all posts
Friday, September 4, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Why?
Why do people who believe in saving the environment often throw their cigarette butts on the ground when they're done smoking?
Why do really smart people often have no common sense?
Why do people put celebrities and athletes on a pedestal and act as if they are more special than their own self?
Why do people want to be like everyone else instead of celebrating their own individuality?
Why does it matter to many people what others think?
Why are you reading this?
Why do really smart people often have no common sense?
Why do people put celebrities and athletes on a pedestal and act as if they are more special than their own self?
Why do people want to be like everyone else instead of celebrating their own individuality?
Why does it matter to many people what others think?
Why are you reading this?
Monday, August 10, 2009
Life Lessons Learned in Strip Joints
1. Never make eye contact with someone who scares you.
2. If it's easy - it's not worth it.
3. Negotiation will get you everywhere.
4. When someone asks you for a dance there are usually ulterior motives.
5. Always wash your hands.
2. If it's easy - it's not worth it.
3. Negotiation will get you everywhere.
4. When someone asks you for a dance there are usually ulterior motives.
5. Always wash your hands.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Five Random Thoughts
1. You never realize how shallow and self-centered some people are until they become your friends on Facebook.
2. It's interesting that when a major celebrity dies, no other news seems to happen that week.
3. I believe that George W. Bush was in way over his head as President of the United States, but I think he would have made a fine Commissioner of Baseball.
4. Do Amish people ever suffer from stress?
5. With all of today's modern technology, the dentistry profession still seems very primitive to me. One would think that by now someone would have figured out a way to work inside a person's mouth without that person practically being upside down.
2. It's interesting that when a major celebrity dies, no other news seems to happen that week.
3. I believe that George W. Bush was in way over his head as President of the United States, but I think he would have made a fine Commissioner of Baseball.
4. Do Amish people ever suffer from stress?
5. With all of today's modern technology, the dentistry profession still seems very primitive to me. One would think that by now someone would have figured out a way to work inside a person's mouth without that person practically being upside down.
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