Communication: The Next Dinosaur

We do not live in our parents world. While technology has made living easier, it seems to have made life more shallow.

Communication has taken on a new, almost distant form. People misread or misplace emails. They text instead of talk. And almost everyone becomes a stalker in one form or another.

We live in a modern world, but are we really living? People talk, but do they communicate?

Shy people of yesterday had to out grow their fears in order to survive and get ahead in the world. Shy people of today often hide behind their computer and never learn proper social skills.

If this continues, just think of the obstacles that will never be overcome. Think of the people that we will never meet or things that will never be invented, discovered or created. All because of good old-fashion communication - or lack of.

Sarah Palin, I'm Sorry, But...

This hurts, but I guess I owe Sarah Palin an apology. Here's the story.

When she announced that she was leaving her position as governor of Alaska, I was convinced I knew why. I really thought it was because she was going to be on "Dancing with the Stars." It's the only thing that made sense to me. I figured she would use that popular television show to build up a fan base before the next election. I was so sure of this, that I even made a bet with my wife. The loser would have to take the other one out to dinner at this expensive restaurant that we both like.

Well, I lost the bet. Sarah Palin didn't stoop as low as I thought she would, and so for that, I apologize to her.

Now I am not one of these people that just jumps on the popular bandwagon. There is only one person that has made me dislike Sarah Palin and that one person is Sarah Palin. I watched with an open mind the vice-president debate, and what I saw made my jaw drop.

Here was a woman that was running for the second most important position in our country and she approached it with memorized answers and forced, down-home phrases that I'm sure were meant to be charming, but came across sleazy and uninformed. I felt like I was watching a woman who was running for student council and I found that very disturbing.

After the debate, it then appeared that she just wanted the spotlight. She reminded me (and still does) of a reality TV show contestant, which is why I figured her new strategy was "Dancing with the Stars."

So, Sarah Palin, I'm sorry that I thought your motives where below what they actually were. However, I will still never vote for you.

I am a firm believer in the phrase "never say never," but in the case of Sarah Palin, I have made an exception.

The Old Black Woman That Broke My Heart

I remember it was a rainy Friday. Just like today.

I was alone at work and this sweet, old black woman stopped in with a video tape. She wanted a copy of it and asked if I could make her one. It was a slow day and I told her that I could do it immediately. She asked if she could wait. I told her that she could, but it takes real time to copy a video tape and if the tape is long it could be a while.

That didn't bother her. She asked if she could watch the tape as I was copying it. I said yes and I went and got her a chair.

This made her smile. She told me her son had died a week ago and this video tape was all she had left of him. She said all she wanted to do was to see his face and hear his voice.

She was sad, but sweet. I was happy to help her.

I got everything ready and I started to record her tape. Her late son was not on it. Instead someone had taped a football game over the footage of her boy. When she realized what had happened she started to cry.

I think of her from time to time and hope that she has found some peace.

Distortion of Talent

It appears anymore that if a person doesn't have the Simon Cowell stamp of approval then that person does not have talent.

Even the news media seems to believe this. The "Today Show" is the biggest culprit. On their "news" program they are constantly bombarding the viewers with the latest reality show want-to-be that just "wowed" Simon Cowell.

Wake up America. Just because it's not on your television doesn't mean there is not real talent out there. All one has to do is go to any karoke bar or watch live theatre in a large city or in a handful of regional theatres and you will find talent as good, if not better than what you'll often see in any of these televised ego-fest.

I guarantee you that the greatest singer, actor, dancer, entertainer, etc. is someone that the world has probably never seen or heard of.

These televised "talent shows" might be entertainment to some, but are insulting to the members of the public that know how to appreciate real art.

Yes, some of these shows are fun to watch and many of the performers are quite good - but as a guide to the most talented people in America? I don't think so.

Words of Sympathy

When someone loses a loved one or is dealt a tragedy, people often feel the need to say something profound, soothing or meaningful. They do this not for selfish reasons, but because they genuinely care. People want to help and often feel that a kind catch-phrase will make it all better.

Sometimes, though, the presence of a friend is all the strength one needs, for often the best words are no words at all.

Why?

Why do people who believe in saving the environment often throw their cigarette butts on the ground when they're done smoking?

Why do really smart people often have no common sense?

Why do people put celebrities and athletes on a pedestal and act as if they are more special than their own self?

Why do people want to be like everyone else instead of celebrating their own individuality?

Why does it matter to many people what others think?

Why are you reading this?

Initial That

I work for a company that goes by the initials PPG. On any given day I might talk with someone from ISA, DDB, PII, HK, NCSA, IPI, DGS or U of I.

When I go home at night I can turn on my TV and watch CSI, NCIS, AFI, DWTS, CSI:NY, NFL or P.O.V. Or I could put a VHS in my VCR if I don't watch a DVD, DVR or listen to a CD, or AM / FM radio.

When I get on the internet I read words like LOL, OMG, WTF, FB, MFT, BFF, BTW, THX or TTLY, just to name a few.

Life has always been about short-cuts. And now that attitude has finally invaded the English language. It will be interesting to see what lies in the future of the spoken and written word.

The Mike Show: Episode 3 - The Pick Up

Welcome to the third installment of The Mike Show. This is where you can read actual scenes from my past. I only include the strange ones, so sit back and enjoy.

Today's episode takes place in 1981. I was living in New York City. I had nothing to do this particular evening, so I went to visit my friend Gus the bartender at the bar where he worked. I was sitting at the bar and I noticed this woman alone in the booth behind me.

I was getting ready to leave for the night, when this woman bought me a drink. I went over to thank her and ended up sharing several more drinks with her. It was getting late and she asked if I could walk her home. I did.

We got to her apartment and she asked if I wanted to come up. I did. We got in the elevator and went to her room on the 11th floor. This is what happened in the room.

(Mike puts his arms around the woman and kisses her. She kisses him back. They kiss some more. Then all of a sudden...)

WOMAN: Get out!

MIKE: What?

WOMAN: You heard me. Get out!

MIKE: What's wrong?

WOMAN: Get out!

MIKE: What'd I do?

WOMAN: If you don't leave I'll start screaming!

MIKE: What?

WOMAN: I'm serious!

MIKE: What?

WOMAN: I'll scream!

MIKE: Why?

(The woman starts screaming at the top of her lungs)

MIKE: Okay, okay. I'm leaving.

(Mike leaves her apartment and waits for the elevator. All of a sudden the woman opens her door)

WOMAN: Sunday night. Eight o'clock.

(The woman slams the door. Mike doesn't wait for the elevator. He takes the stairs and runs home)

True story and the dialog is as close to word for word as I can remember. I never saw her again. I don't know what would have happened that Sunday night at eight o'clock, but my guess is that I would either be dead or on Candid Camera.

Welcome to the freak show of my past. Stay tuned to this blog for more episodes of The Mike Show.

My Way

"I did it my way," is a popular phrase that many people not only love to believe in, but also claim to live by. Unless a person is a hermit, though, I doubt if many people really live life "their way" all of the time.

When I was younger it was cool to hear Frank Sinatra sing "My Way," and say to myself, "that's how I'm going to live."

However, saying and doing are two different things. I have a job, friends, outside interests and family obligations that often force me to make compromises in how I think and do things. These compromises often bring me pleasant surprises and have taught me lessons in life.

One lesson I've learned is that if you are a responsible spouse, friend, parent, child, sibling, boss or employee, you can't always do things "your way," and is that really such a bad thing?

Making a Comeback

It seems like every week either an actor, athlete or politician is making a comeback in some form or another. Whether it's from heal to hero, or from fame to obscurity and back to fame again, the public can't seem to get enough of a good comeback tale.

What people don't seem to realize, though, is that comebacks aren't just limited to people in the spotlight. Average folks make them too. And they do it all the time.

They do it in their jobs when they make a huge mistake one month and years later are given a sign of confidence with either a raise or promotion.

They do it in their families when selfish acts or words create distance between parents or siblings and an act of kindness or family tragedy replaces those feelings with forgiveness.

They do it in life when they strike out in love, work or play and then later come back with a home run.

Making comebacks is part of the human spirit and is an inner force within all of us in this unpredictable world of life.

The Graveyard Visitor

My father died ten years ago today. I don't think losing a parent is anything that people ever completely recover from. Instead, we get by.

I've visited his grave several times in the past ten years. The first couple of years I could feel his presence. Not so much anymore. Maybe that's all part of the healing process. I don't know.

What I do know is that on many of those visits I am not alone. I am usually joined by this irritating little fly. It's not even a fly, it's more like a gnat. It flies around my face and I have to shoo it away with my hand.

What makes this strange is that this gnat appears only when I visit my fathers grave. It doesn't matter the season, whether it is the middle of summer or the dead of winter, I can count on that gnat being there most of the time.

This often makes me wonder if that bug is actually some form of my father somehow trying to communicate with me. It's a silly thought, but one that gives me comfort.

Why I Do This

Since writing this blog I have been reading other blogs and am now convinced that there are more bad writers writing today than ever before. Blogging encourages it.

When I was kid, writers had diaries and they were for no one to read but the writer. There was a reason for that. The diaries were either extremely personal or incredibly boring. Either way, the contents weren't appropriate to share with the world. Today it doesn't matter.

I'm sure every blogger thinks that what they have to say is important. Otherwise, why would they write it? I have felt that way on occassions, but then I will read a blog that is so eloquently written that I'm suddenly cut down to size and instantly feel common and shallow.

So why do I continue? Well, for me, it's a mental exercise. It keeps my mind, memory and writing skills, or lack of, sharp.

I think the main reason I blog, though, is because it's a record of who I am and what I think. People who don't know me can get to know me better. And the ones that do know me will maybe understand why I am the way I am. It's a record of me that can be passed through my family to generations to come.

I know that this blog can't hold a candle to other blogs out there. Many others, but it is what it is and it is part of who I am.

The Things That Live On

History has shown that nothing last forever. However, it's safe to say that Coca Cola, people using religion to promote hatred, and the Three Stooges are certainly making a run for it.

If this continues, it appears that my great-grandchildren will be able to enjoy a nice soft drink while living in a world where hipocrites rule and getting hit on the head is funny.

I guess the generations, no matter how different, will continue to have things in common.

The Scent of an Era

I grew up about six blocks from the University of Illinois campus and even though we weren't supposed to travel outside of our neighborhood, we often did.

As a young teenager in the early 1970's, my favorite places to go were the black light poster shops on Green Street. I was fascinated by the glow in the dark peace signs, the R. Crumb comic books and the incense that smelled exactly the same in each shop.

When I was around the age of eighteen I attended my first party where marijuana made an appearance. And it was at that party that I realized for the first time that it wasn't incense I was smelling in those shops.

I started to notice that smell everywhere - on the clothes of my friends, in the bathrooms of bars and even in the breeze from a park where I'd be relaxing.

People tend to remember the music, clothes and attitudes of the 1970's. I happened to remember what that decade smelled like.

The Mike Show: Episode 2 - Boy on the Bus

It's time for another look back into the strange world of bizarre occurrences that have plagued me my entire life.

It was around 1976. I was on a bus to Tennessee to visit an old friend. The bus stopped somewhere in southern Illinois to pick up more passengers. A mentally retarded boy got on the bus and sat next to me. (I know that "mentally challenged" is the politically correct way to describe this boy, but this was 1976 and we did not talk like that back then).

Anyway, this is what happened about thirty minutes into the ride.

BOY: You have nice hair.

MIKE: Uh...thank you.

BOY: Can I pet your hair?

MIKE: Uh...ok.

(The boy starts petting Mike's hair)

BOY: I don't feel good.

(The boy throws up all over Mike)

MIKE: Uh...bus driver?

This true story is just a small clip from my life and there are many more to come. Just keep checking this blog for The Mike Show.

Remembering That First Regret

Show me someone that has no regrets and I'll show you a liar, or a person that has learned nothing in life.

I've had several regrets over the years. If it wasn't over something I said, didn't say, did or didn't do, then it was a choice made or ignored that ended up with feelings damaged or opportunities lost.

I was ten years old when I made a choice that has bothered me ever since. That's a little young to make a mistake that I still remember, but I did, and I do.

There was a boy who lived next door to me whose family was moving to Texas. This boy and I were friends, but somewhere within that friendship we had a disagreement that led the two of us to stop speaking to each other.

On the day he left town he was standing in his yard and I was in mine. We hadn't spoken to each other in over a week. I wanted to talk to him and I sensed that he wanted to talk to me, but neither one of us was man enough to make the first move.

I was on my swing set, while he just stared at me from across the fence. I remember thinking that this silent treatment was stupid and yet I did nothing about it.

It was lunch time and I remember going inside my house for a sandwich and when I came back outside, this boy and his family had left Illinois for good.

I felt bad that we didn't talk, especially when I knew that we both wanted too. Now forty-two years later, I still feel bad. I have asked myself "Why?" over the years, but there is no answer when stuborn pride is involved.

This wasn't the biggest regret of my life, but it's my oldest.

So Robert Blackerbee, should you by any chance ever stumble upon this blog, please know that never saying goodbye to you has haunted me to this day. I don't remember what came between us, but I am sincerly sorry. Hope your life is good. - Mike

Ego

Everyone has an ego in one form or another. One ego will go with the flow as if it is made of rubber, while the other gets bruised easily.

Some are born out of confidence and some out of insecurity. One is poised, assured and in control. The other - loud, arrogant and condescending.

Both evolve from upbringing, past experiences, successes and failures. There is a fine line between the two. A fine line that is often crossed by both, but never for very long.

One ego grows and learns from the lessons of life. The other wallows in self pity and is always looking for someone or something to blame.

Which ego do you have?

Had They Been Born Today

I often wonder if certain popular figures of the past had been born today what would they be doing. Chances are that being born under different circumstances and time periods many of them wouldn't be famous - or at least as famous as they are now.

For example Bonnie and Clyde, the notorious bank robbers of the great depression. Their crimes were driven by their egos which were magnified by the media. Had they been born today I don't believe they would have robbed banks. No, I think they would have become reality TV stars.

What about Mark Twain and Will Rogers? They were two of the most popular humorist of their time. However, would they have the same success in a more modern world? I don't think so. They would both still have been admired, but only as college professors.

And then there's Davy Jones, the lead singer of the popular 1960's band The Monkees. In his day he made the hearts of my female sixth grade classmates flutter. Had he been born today? Well...I actually think he'd still be a teen idol.

Why I Voted for Gerald Ford

Although my views tend to slant towards the liberal side, I have never considered myself a Democrat or a Republican. I tend to vote for the person and not the party and have been both pleased and disappointed in the political choices I've made over the years.

In 1976 (my first election) I voted for the non-popular choice for president - Republican Gerald Ford and have been ridiculed for that decision ever since. However, I still stand by my choice.

At the time, I was probably more of a Democrat than anything else. Eight years eariler, my sixth grade class held a mock election between the presidential candidates (Nixon and Humphrey) and I gave an emotional speech on why Hubert Humphrey was the better choice. If I remember right, I believe I said something "original" and compared him to Abraham Lincoln.

When I was finally old enough to vote, the Democrats had another "Lincoln like" candidate in Jimmy Carter. I liked what Carter stood for, but felt that he was to gentle to be a world leader.

No, I liked the guy that everyone else hated - Gerald Ford. I believed then and I believe now that he was disliked not because of anything he did, but because he represented the same party that brought us Nixon and the Watergate scandal. The election had nothing to do with Gerald Ford and everything to do with Richard Nixon. The country wanted the memory of Watergate erased and in the voters eyes - Jimmy Carter was that eraser.

Gerald Ford was given two years in the White House before the public voted him out. Two years does not make a proper presidency, but what Ford did in his two years in office was something many presidents have trouble doing in four. He brought trust back to the highest office there is at a time when the country really needed it.

To me that says a lot and is the reason why I voted for him.

Life Lessons Learned in Strip Joints

1. Never make eye contact with someone who scares you.

2. If it's easy - it's not worth it.

3. Negotiation will get you everywhere.

4. When someone asks you for a dance there are usually ulterior motives.

5. Always wash your hands.

One Blind Mouse

It happened during the summer of 2005. My wife and I were driving home from a Florida vacation when I noticed my right eye would not focus. As the day wore on, it not only got worse, but my blurry vision turned into a kaleidoscope of colors.

When I got home I called the eye doctor and was told to come to his office immediately. Within ten minutes after I arrived at the eye clinic I was in surgery for a detached retina.

It was later discovered that I also had Glaucoma, an incurable eye disease that can lead to blindness.

I am now on medication for the rest of my life and have also had Cataract surgery to replace the lense in my right eye. All of this has helped, but when I open a book and sometimes see only blank pages, need a magnifying glass to read a restaurant menu, or am driving and have trouble seeing the white lines on the road, I realize that I am at war.

The medication has stabilized my illness for now. I have good days and bad. The good ones - I am never aware that there is a problem. The bad, however, remind me of how fragile my eyes are.

I'm okay with the possibility of someday losing my fight to see. I don't want that to happen, but I have known people in my lifetime that have lost bigger battles. I've seen first hand friends and family members courageously tackle Cancer, AIDS, Diabetes, Alzheimer's, Multiple Scierosis, Bulimia and drug addiction. So if it happens that blindness is my cross to bare, well then...bring it on.

The Mike Show : Episode 1 - The Crazy Lady

Sometimes scenes from my life flash by me like a clip from an old television show. There is no rhyme or reason as to which segment from my life will pop up. Ususally it's something crazy that just happened out of the blue. When this occurs I try to remember the dialog as close to word for word as I can, so as to take myself on a brief trip back in time.

The following is one of those strange mental clips that suddenly appeared in the front row of my memory. This is a true story. Warning. It has no beginning, middle or end. It is what it is, and what it is...actually happened.

It was around 1980 or '81. I was living in New York City and minding my own business walking down Broadway on my way home from work, when this woman approached me.

WOMAN: Stop it!

MIKE: What?

WOMAN: You heard me. Stop it! Stop it!

MIKE: Stop what?

WOMAN: You're raping me with your eyes.

MIKE: What?

(The woman then punches Mike in the Stomach several times)

MIKE: Owwww!

Welcome to one brief flash of my life. There are many more, just as strange. I will post more of these from time to time. Why? I don't know. They're just mental clips from the television show that is my life. I call it The Mike Show. Stay tuned.

The Quest for Normal

Growing up I always felt like the odd ball of the family - the one that never quite fit in. I was fine with that title because I was always more comfortable in my own world then in the one in which I lived. It's not that I didn't get along with everyone. For the most part I did, but for whatever reason, I always felt like the outsider.

I don't blame anyone for this. You can't help the way you feel and I always felt just a little disconnected from the rest. However, the older I got and the more aware I became of the behavior of others, I realized that when it came to my family - I was the normal one.

Then I met my wife. Her family made mine look like a Norman Rockwell painting. Well...not quite. Let's just say that they took strange behavior to levels that I had yet to experience. Then again, some of their antics were nothing compared to the off-the-wall co-workers, bosses and clients that I would have to deal with in the coming years.

So what exactly is normal? Maybe it's time to investigate.

According to the dictionary, normal means, "refers to a lack of significant deviation from the average."

Okay. So...what is average? My same source tells me that average is, "the typical normal amount of quality."

Do I dare look up quality? I don't think so. All of this will probably just lead me in circles. Anyway, do I really need to find out that after all these years I'm probably not as normal as I think I am?

Vocabulary Complications

Words can sometimes take on a life of their own. And depending on which word, who is using it, and the context in which it is presented, that word can have all kinds of meanings and uses.

Thanks to politicians and the media, there are now two words that seem to only mean one thing, and when one uses those words, one should be prepared for the avalanche of name calling and arguments that will soon follow.

Those two words are "liberal" and "conservative." You can't link yourself to one of those words without someone getting bent out of shape. The reality of the situation, though, is that most people are a little bit of both.

Leave it to the government leaders and the reporters of news to have tunnel vision when it comes to two words that if approached with a little openness, could just very well lead to some form of partial unity.

Ladies Man

I have a history of clumsiness with the opposite sex.

From calling someone the wrong name during an intimate moment, to popping a wine cork at point blank range into the forehead of my date - I've done it all.

I can trace this inept behavior all the way back to my very first kiss. I couldn't tell you what my date and I did throughout the course of the evening, but I remember to this day how it ended. It was my first kiss. How could I forget?

It was winter and cold. At the end of the evening we pulled into her drive way, got out of the car and together walked to her front door. After some awkward small talk, I leaned into kiss her, but the collar of my coat somehow ended up between my lips and hers and I found myself kissing my own coat.

I was so caught up in my own adolescent bliss that I didn't realize this until I was almost half way home.

Yes, I'd say it's safe to say that women have talked about me.

Five Random Thoughts

1. You never realize how shallow and self-centered some people are until they become your friends on Facebook.

2. It's interesting that when a major celebrity dies, no other news seems to happen that week.

3. I believe that George W. Bush was in way over his head as President of the United States, but I think he would have made a fine Commissioner of Baseball.

4. Do Amish people ever suffer from stress?

5. With all of today's modern technology, the dentistry profession still seems very primitive to me. One would think that by now someone would have figured out a way to work inside a person's mouth without that person practically being upside down.

Heaven: Not as Crowded as One Might Think

Why is it that when somebody dies everyone just assumes that their soul went to Heaven?

This happens a lot. You hear statements like "our loss is Heaven's gain," or something to that effect. And many times that is being said about someone who spent their time on this Earth constantly putting their own selfish needs before others with no regard of whom they may have hurt.

Well, I have some unsettling news for good people who die and are expecting to see their loved ones in Heaven. I'm not sure they all made it.

Reflections on a Life Still Living

Even if I'm lucky enough to live to be one hundred, at fifty two years of age, whether I like it or not, my life is more than half over.

So, how am I doing?

Well, my brain isn't fried like a few people I know. I've been married to only one person and plan to stay that way, which is something many of my peers can't say. And despite being pulled in countless directions by family, friends and the many creative endeavors that I pursue, I have still managed to laugh, learn and be productive.

Not a bad life if you can get it.

Continuing the Ideals of Our Fathers

In the 1920's, my grandfather left the slums of Sicily and came to this country searching for a better life. When he died, he could barely speak English.

In the 1950's, my other grandfather was so determined to change the horrific working conditions on his job, that he organized the first union in Champaign County. His efforts landed him in jail.

My own father believed that hard work and dedication were all you needed to succeed in life. He was proven wrong when the company he had dedicated his life to for over thirty years was sold and he was let go - losing more than half of his hard earned retirement.

Through the efforts of those three men, I not only have it easier, but I am also wiser and internally richer. And the only way I know how to thank them is to take the lessons they taught me and use them to continue to pursue their dream of a better life.