The 34 Year Old Kiss

Even being happily married, I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't think about past relationships from time to time. I rarely think of any of the serious girlfriends I've had. Those thoughts are filled with so much grief and stupidity on my part that I'd rather block them out.

What I do think about on occasions, though, are the relationships that never quite materialized. There is one in particular that I have thought of over the years. She was a girl I went to high school with. We always had fun together in school and the summer after we graduated we went out on a handful of dates.

It was not a romantic relationship. If anything, it was more of a friendship. We laughed a lot and talked a lot and that's about it. However, that being said, at the end of each date, I distinctively remember walking her to her front door and kissing her goodnight.

It's odd that I remember this because the kisses were really not that memorable. They lasted three or four seconds and neither one of us opened our mouths. It's not that we didn't know how to kiss. I'm sure she did and I had a girlfriend part of my senior year, so I had some experience in that department. The only reason I can think of for not kissing her longer and better was the fact that I was shy and insecure and knowing me, probably not sure if she wanted me too.

We were young and it was the 1970's. The outside world was discovering artistic expression and sexual freedom. For me, however, I had yet to realize those things. My world was Gilligan's Island, Baseball cards, Mad Magazine and Jerry Lewis movies.

So why now? Why now am I thinking about a four second, closed mouth kiss that happened only a handful of times way back in 1975?

I think it's because those kisses, for me, represent the last summer of my innocence. It was that final harmless fling before me, probably her, and just about every sixteen to twenty year old at that time, were all thrown unprepared, head first into the wild, often painful world of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll that was the 1970's.

And the individual experiences that each of us would soon encounter, for better or for worse, would shape us all into the people we are today.