The Doorman

Back in the late 1970's I lived in New York City. My apartment was just two blocks off of Broadway which was a busy street, so at night I only had two blocks to walk in an area that wasn't very safe.

There was a doorman to an apartment complex on one of those blocks. Everytime I would pass him late in the night he would always wave at me and I would wave back.

I remember one night he wasn't there. I remember looking at my watch as I walked by and it was exactly midnight. The next day the New York television stations all reported about a doorman that was shot and killed around midnight the night before. They mentioned the address, so I went down the street to see if it was the address where the doorman worked. It was.

I often wonder what would have have happened if I had walked by that apartment just a few minutes earlier.

The Holy Robots

When I was younger I was always annoyed at church by the people that would be one step ahead of everyone else. You know, the ones that stand up or sit down a half second before the rest of the congregation, or are a few words ahead during the "Our Father."

I used to feel that these people were showing off and that for some reason, they felt that praying was a race and the first one to finish would be rewarded in the end. I don't think that way anymore.

I have lately started to observe the people that get ahead of the Sunday morning church crowd. I have come to the conclusion that these are not people showing off. No, they are rather people caught up in the church routine. They know the words and actions inside out. They know them to the point that they are responding without thinking, without feeling, without knowing what it is they are even saying or doing.

And I sometimes have to wonder if that is worse than showing off.

Why I'll Never Be An English Major

I love to read and I love to write, but that being said, I could never have been an English major.

For one, my spelling isn't great and I often get confused on when to use the words "to" and "too." I also like to get to the point and don't believe it takes ten long paragraphs to say what I need to say.

I like many of the classic's, but feel that several of them are boring and a waste of time to read. However, the main reason I could never be an English major is simple. I like poems that rhyme.

I Once Knew...

I once knew a guy that refused to cut his nose hairs because his girlfriend thought they were sexy.

I once knew a woman who left her husband for a married man and then refused to see any movie that had Angelina Jolie in it because she said that the actress was a home wrecker.

I once worked with a guy that loved opening packages so that he could eat the packing peanuts.

I once knew a woman who on a long weekend out of town refused to speak to her husband, my wife and myself for two whole days because on the first night out, the three of us got hungry and wanted to order some food and she didn't.

I once knew a woman that took the wrong dosage of her medicine and then crashed into five different police cars within an hour. She lost her license, but got it back after getting her medicine situation back on track. Then she ran over a woman who was getting mail from her mailbox.

All of these are true.

Age And Time

It's true, most of us can't do the things we did when we were in our twenties or thirties. However, we can do things now that we won't be able to do in our seventies and eighties.

From age thirty on, people tend to feel older and often dream of the days that will never come back. So instead of getting depressed about a youth gone by, maybe it's time to make the most of right now. After all, whether time flies, stands still or passes us by, it's still time. And we owe it to ourselves to make it time well spent.

The Strength Of Defeat

Defeat is a strong beast. It can stop, cripple or kill and idea, an attitude or even a person. It's born out of rejection, laziness and fear of failure and takes on many shapes, sizes and identities. It's here, there, everywhere and nowhere. It's within the people we know and the places we work and can be responsible for the downfall of character, pride and a persons general outlook.

Defeat can only be beaten by strength. That strength can be found in persistence, concentration and even ignorance. Every person large or small, young or old, has the ability to overcome defeat for as strong as it may feel at times, it can be broken by will power, flexibility and determination - just to name a few.

We all have the power within us to win at anything we do, for defeat is not so strong that it can't be broken.

A Generation Of Class

I spent a good part of this past weekend attending the funeral of my wife's aunt. She had outlived her husband and most of her friends and had been in failing health for sometime. My wife and her brother were the only family she had left, so we expected a small private farewell. In fact, I expected no more than ten people to show up.

I was wrong.

I didn't count, but I would say that over fifty people passed through the funeral home doors. And they not only attended the wake, but they stayed for the funeral as well. Most of the people there were elderly, and many drove several hours just to be there.

This not only says a lot about my wife's aunt, but also for her generation. When my generation gets that old and feeble, I'm not sure if many of my peers would brave a long drive into a large city to pay their last respects, especially when they wouldn't even know any of the survivors. And I'm pretty sure that the generations after mine wouldn't even consider it.

She was part of a generation that had class. A generation that is quickly being replaced by a much more self-serving one. And when my age group becomes the next set to fill up the nursing homes, a different and lower standard will be set, for within the next twenty years the elderly of this country will be the generation that started the downward trend of putting "me" first.

My Battle With Craig Virgin

I ran track in high school and when I was a sophomore I had the pleasure to race against the fastest runner in the country. His name was Craig Virgin.

Craig Virgin was the guy that beat Steve Prefontaine's national outdoor 2-mile record by 1.5 seconds with a time of 8:41.05. As a runner for the University of Illinois Cross Country team, he was the 1975 NCAA Cross Country champion. He also qualified for the Olympics three times in the 10,000 meters just to name a few of his many accomplishments.

Although he had yet to break those records back in the spring of 1973, he was still considered at that time one of the fastest  runners in the United States. This wasn't the first race I had faced him. I had ran against him before in Cross Country in a big invitation meet in which he got first place and I finished about 150 runners behind him.

Now I was decent in Cross Country. I was the third or fourth man on our team, which meant that my position was very important in the scoring. However, in track, I was not so important. I ran the two mile and I rarely placed better than fourth place. And on this particular day I was in the heat that had Craig Virgin.

Although I was never a great track star, I was proud of the fact that a runner had never lapped me. I wanted to finish out my high school track career with that record still intact, but the odds didn't look good.

Back in those days, running was all yards and miles, unlike the metric system which is used today. One lap was 440 yards and it took eight laps to run two miles.

With the fastest runner in the country setting the pace, this meant that everyone in that heat would either run one of their better races or get burnt out really quick. The latter happened to me.

I remember at the mile mark, Craig Virgin was about a half a lap ahead of me and I could feel that the fast pace was taking it's toll on me. I felt like I was slowing down with each lap and finally with a little more than one lap to go, I could hear the crowd cheering for the world's fastest man.

With constant looks behind me, I could see him gaining. Then I could hear his fast footsteps. Even though, I still had a little more than a lap to go before I finished, I was able to muster up a ten yard sprint. It turned out that Craig Virgin crossed the finished line at exactly the same time I was starting my last lap.

That day Craig Virgin beat me by exactly 440 yards. However, he never lapped me, which has made that race one of the most important days of my high school track career.

From Youth To Now

All it takes is to hang out with younger people for a while to make you realize how much your own ideals have changed over the years.

I often look back in embarrassment at all of the naive beliefs I had toward future goals, people and all of the wonderful ways I could make the world a better place.

So what happened between then and now?

I think for many of us, we get to a point where the demands of work, family and the trials and tribulations of surviving another day beat us down just enough to give us a more realistic perspective. We notice that the things we thought unbreakable soon develop cracks and the people we admired are capable of letting us down.

We tend to get more selfish with our time, engery and money and find ourselves becoming something we never thought possible.

Call it life. It happens.

The Short Ride Through Life

When walking through the halls of a nursing home, it's easy to forget that the old suffering people in the rooms all around were once vibrant human beings that laughed, loved, worked and played.

Some of those worn out bodies have children to carry on their memories. Others don't. For them, they are not only looking at the end of their lives, but also at the end of the line. All of their life long possessions have dwindled down to just the necessities that will fit in a space the size of a dorm room. Some clothes, a small television, maybe a radio, or a bible and a few pictures of people that no one else knows is all that's left of a life once-lived.

When that person dies, Goodwill will get what it needs of their belongings, while the trash can will get the rest. And not only is a life gone and forgotten, but the people and lives in the memories of that person disappear as well.

Eventually this will happen to all of us. That's why it's so important to make an effort to enjoy living and all of the wonders that it brings. Everyone gets their time in the cycle of life. Take pleasure in it while you can.

The Mike Show: Episode 5 - My Name Is John, I Think

It's time for the fifth installment of The Mike Show. This is the segment of this blog where one can read actual dialog from my past.

Today we go back to 1976. This story is going to sound like I'm trying to be funny, but I assure you, I'm not. What you are about to read actually happened. It might sound like a bad Abbott and Costello routine, but it's all true.

I got a job working the graveyard shift at Kraft Foods. We had to wear uniforms with name tags. Now my legal name is John, not Mike. (It's a long story, not worth explaining) Anyway, I tried to tell my supervisor that even though my legal name is John, I would like to be called Mike. So we went to get name tags and this is what happened.

SUPERVISOR: This is John, but he want's to be called Ron.

MIKE: What?

NAME TAG GUY: I don't have any Ron name tags.

MIKE: I'll just take John.

(Later, when my supervisor introduced me to my co-worker)

SUPERVISOR: This is Ron.

CO-WORKER: Nice to meet you Don.

I later ran into a guy that I went to high school with and he knew me as Mike, so for four years everyone called me John, except my supervisor who called me Ron, the guy I worked with my first night who called my Don and the guy I went to high school with who called me Mike. So depending on who I was with, for four years I answered to John, Ron, Don and Mike

True story.

Music Without Instruments

There is no need to have an iPod, CD player, radio or live band to hear music. All one has to do is to listen to the sounds around them and hear a symphony of a different kind. And depending on where a person is, that concert can take one anywhere from imagination to relaxation to contemplation to sleep.

Whether it be a thunder storm on a Friday night, birds singing in the morning, children playing in a park, the hum of a furnace or air conditioner, a dish washer, traffic, a conversation, stong wind or even silence, there is music all around at all times.

And like traditional music, all is not to one's liking. A jackhammer, a baby crying, a loud muffler, sirens, dogs barking and other sounds can often put one on edge - just like certain types of music can.

These are the sounds of life - the oldest form of music, and they come in various jingles for all of us to experience in any way we choose.

The Fear of Bees

I have always been somewhat annoyed by people that are afraid of bees. I'm not bothered by their fear, but more by their way of showing it. And they're all the same. They all tend to panic. They make noises and draw attention to themselves. And if anything, in their fit of anxiety, they seem to always bring the bees closer to them.

Now I am not one to criticize a persons phobias. Lord knows I have enough of them, but I have never understood this abrupt behavior change in mild mannered people that only occurs when bees show up.

Until now.

The other day I was stung by a bee for the first time in my life. I figured if I ever got stung it would feel like a shot does and sting for a few seconds and then be done. I was not expecting that sting to throb for hours.

Fortunately, that incident hasn't added another phobia to my list, but instead, has made me a little bit more tolerant when bees show up and the people around me go into complete panic mode.

Farewell To My Little Boy

Two days ago on Friday, September 4, my wife and I had to make the painful decision to put our cat Willy to sleep.

To many, Willy wasn't the friendliest of cats. He was known to be a bully to strangers, but to my wife and I, he was the sweetest. We saw a side of him that no one else did. That "tough guy" persona, I believe, was just an act to disguise his fear of everything. And of all the pets I've had in my lifetime, Willy was the lowest maintenance. He never begged for food and was always content with what he had in life.

Abandon by his mother as a kitten, we took him in and became his adopted parents. He viewed me as his mother. Every night he would jump into bed with us and suck my finger until he fell asleep. As he got older, he replaced finger sucking with laying on his back with my hand on his stomach. A few months ago, when he got sick, he would revert back to finger sucking on occasions.

Willy loved following me all through the house from room to room just to be near me. He was definitely a mama's boy and through him, I, (a middle-aged male) was given a glimpse of what it's like to have a bond between a mother and child. And although it is painful now, I am grateful for that experience. I am at peace knowing that he was loved.

The Mike Show: Episode 4 - The Japanese Tourist

Welcome to the fourth installment of The Mike Show. Here is where you can read actual dialog from my past.

Today's adventure didn't really happen to me, but I was there and I witnessed it. The year was 1979 and I was living in New York City. I was at a bus stop waiting for the next bus. There was this elderly woman standing next to me. All of a sudden this car full of Japanese men pulled up to us. Here is the actual dialog that took place.

JAPANESE MAN: Excuse me. Can you tell me where the Chrysler Building is?

ELDERLY WOMAN: You found Pearl Harbor, you can find the Chrysler Building.

JAPANESE MAN: Thank you.

(The car drives off. Mike just stands there)

Keep checking The Mike Show part of this blog for more strange adventures from my past.

The Art of the Excuse

I used to work with a guy that had so many off-the-wall excuses for being late or not coming to work, that they just had to be true. Here are the few that I can remember. I am NOT making these up.

1. I was late because I dropped my contact in the cat litter.

2. I was late because I couldn't hear the alarm because my daughter was throwing up.

3. I was late because it was my sons turn to set the alarm for the whole family and he forgot.

4. I won't be in today because last night I was chasing my kids and I ran into a tree branch.

5. I can't come to work today because the whole family has parasites.

6. I have to go home because my daughter has rocks stuck up her nose.

7. I won't be at work this week. I'm still in Texas. I was trying to take a short cut down this dirt road and I wrecked my car into a pack of wild pigs.

The 34 Year Old Kiss

Even being happily married, I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't think about past relationships from time to time. I rarely think of any of the serious girlfriends I've had. Those thoughts are filled with so much grief and stupidity on my part that I'd rather block them out.

What I do think about on occasions, though, are the relationships that never quite materialized. There is one in particular that I have thought of over the years. She was a girl I went to high school with. We always had fun together in school and the summer after we graduated we went out on a handful of dates.

It was not a romantic relationship. If anything, it was more of a friendship. We laughed a lot and talked a lot and that's about it. However, that being said, at the end of each date, I distinctively remember walking her to her front door and kissing her goodnight.

It's odd that I remember this because the kisses were really not that memorable. They lasted three or four seconds and neither one of us opened our mouths. It's not that we didn't know how to kiss. I'm sure she did and I had a girlfriend part of my senior year, so I had some experience in that department. The only reason I can think of for not kissing her longer and better was the fact that I was shy and insecure and knowing me, probably not sure if she wanted me too.

We were young and it was the 1970's. The outside world was discovering artistic expression and sexual freedom. For me, however, I had yet to realize those things. My world was Gilligan's Island, Baseball cards, Mad Magazine and Jerry Lewis movies.

So why now? Why now am I thinking about a four second, closed mouth kiss that happened only a handful of times way back in 1975?

I think it's because those kisses, for me, represent the last summer of my innocence. It was that final harmless fling before me, probably her, and just about every sixteen to twenty year old at that time, were all thrown unprepared, head first into the wild, often painful world of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll that was the 1970's.

And the individual experiences that each of us would soon encounter, for better or for worse, would shape us all into the people we are today.

The One Way Street Called Meetings

Whether it be in a corporate conference room or a family kitchen, meetings are pretty much the same all over. They are frequently one person calling the shots and everyone else bowing down, whether they agree or not.

In the corporate world, it's often the person with the least talent that does most of the talking, before the brunt of the work falls into the hands of one or two competent people that somehow manage to make the work of a few, look like a team effort.

In the family setting, it's often not a case of right or wrong, but more of a difference of opinion. And it's the one with the strongest passion, or hardest head that usually wins.

Either way, when it comes to meetings - they are many times pointless, for depending on who is involved, two is often a crowd.

Riding The Wave

Life is full of peaks and valleys, ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Somebodies high means somebody else's low. However, the tides change and roles reverse. If you're happy today, watch out for tomorrow and vice versa.

This is all just part of the cycles of life. And without them, we never grow, or learn, or for that matter, live. After all, who we are today, is just a reflection of what we experienced yesterday. And the more experiences - good or bad, the wiser and stronger we become.

Great happiness makes sadness harder, but the harder the hurt is now, the stronger the joy will be around the corner. There is really no choice in life. The wave is coming. Ride it. Fall off. Get back on. Learn and live.