My wife and I went out to dinner the other night with another couple. The first twenty minutes all four of us took turns telling each other of the declining health of our mothers. My friend said that his mother has gone down hill so much in the past two years that as far as he's concerned the mother he knew died two years ago.
I don't feel that way about my mother and I hope that I never will, but watching a parent battle the atrocities of father time is an eye opening experience. No one is perfect, but it seems like old age and everything that comes with it, magnifies those imperfections. For what was once a vibrant, fun-loving, life of the party, is many times of late replaced by a nervous, forgetful, mean-spirited, old stranger.
I watched both of my parents take care of their aging parents, so it's not like I didn't have any warning. I think it's just that I, and many other baby boomers just didn't pay attention. And the reality of it all is that now is when my mother needs her family the most.
What makes this hard is that when I visit, I expect to see the healthy person that I've known my whole life. And when that person is replaced by the older and needier version, my own selfish needs suddenly seem more important - or at least easier.
The bottom line is that I know my mother feels a lot worse than I do, both emotionally and physically. And as she moves on to the next level of life, so must I. And I'm finding that as the sick and aging go through denial and acceptance, so do the healthy.
I don't feel that way about my mother and I hope that I never will, but watching a parent battle the atrocities of father time is an eye opening experience. No one is perfect, but it seems like old age and everything that comes with it, magnifies those imperfections. For what was once a vibrant, fun-loving, life of the party, is many times of late replaced by a nervous, forgetful, mean-spirited, old stranger.
I watched both of my parents take care of their aging parents, so it's not like I didn't have any warning. I think it's just that I, and many other baby boomers just didn't pay attention. And the reality of it all is that now is when my mother needs her family the most.
What makes this hard is that when I visit, I expect to see the healthy person that I've known my whole life. And when that person is replaced by the older and needier version, my own selfish needs suddenly seem more important - or at least easier.
The bottom line is that I know my mother feels a lot worse than I do, both emotionally and physically. And as she moves on to the next level of life, so must I. And I'm finding that as the sick and aging go through denial and acceptance, so do the healthy.
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